tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61259161326912869112024-02-19T17:31:28.059-05:00BLOG OF ISMSAUTISM * OPTIMISM
(And other -isms that make life interesting)Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-44188337984393983372013-02-27T15:06:00.000-05:002013-02-27T15:06:04.872-05:00PEOPLEEach day is made up of the actions of other people. So, when you are some one else's other person, why not make their day. -Me<br />
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So, I haven't posted in a while, but I had to share an experience.<br />
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I took the Little Man to the supermarket on Saturday. The supermarket is not always (or even usually) a successful endeavor. Many times when we go out in public, my wife and I are on hyper-drive. Get in and get out as fast as you can to shorten the window of time where Autism can reveal itself in all of its glory. Such a frantic pace is not good for the Little Man. If we are going to build familiarity and resiliency, slower is better. So this past Saturday, I hardened my skin, prepared for the worst, and decided to make the supermarket the place to socially interact and share an experience with the Little Man. <br />
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I know I mentioned before that the Little Man was smart. Truth is - I know that he is even smarter than I think he is. I always like to push the envelope.<br />
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As we went down the Italian foods/pasta aisle...I used a single word "Spaghetti" and I happily followed him down the aisle and watched him come to rest in front of all of the boxes of different pastas. I parked across the aisle and watched him look around at the words on the boxes. He heard me, processed it, and knew what to do. He was looking for a box of Spaghetti. We were working together. I watched as he looked up and down and finally recognized the pasta just above his head.<br />
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Truth is, it took several moments for him to find the pasta. Then, cutely, in only the way he can, he dramatically jumped up and down several times, scripting a "I can't reach it" -- all while the box was clearly in his reach. <br />
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Now, at that time, the supermarket was crowded and the combination of my cart and his spaghetti search was blocking the aisle. I felt someone behind us, but I wanted soo bad for the Little Man to make the discovery and succeed in this simple task. But, the "good citizen" in me was feeling the pressure to just grab the box, grab his hand, and make way for the normals. But, I didn't. I waited those extra few seconds as he proudly grabbed the box, put it in the cart, and looked to me for what was next. Excellent.<br />
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Now to deal with the fallout.<br />
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I turned around to see an older man waiting stoically for us to make way. I figured his eyes must have been rolling in frustration as he waited for our side show. So, I sheepishly turned, looked at the man and apologized.<br />
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"No need," he replied. "I enjoyed watching him." As he walked away, he turned back and said "Enjoy it. They grow up too fast."<br />
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I don't think that man knew we were dealing with Autism. I am sure he did not know that having the Little Man out with the masses is a stressful endeavor for us. To him, we were just a regular father and son, enjoying a regular father and son activity. And, he said the perfect thing. Believe it or not, something so simple gave me validation -- and confidence to do it again.<br />
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I wish I would have gotten his name. I wish I would have told him how much those simple, kind words meant. But I will not forget what he said and did. Pay it forward!<br />
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<br />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-18132742251773104862012-10-12T15:15:00.001-04:002012-10-26T11:13:54.153-04:00YOU MUST BE BANANAS<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px;">“The mistakes I've made are dead to me. But I can't take back the things I never did.” </span><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">― </span>Jonathan Safran Foer ,<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px;">“We learn from failure, not from success!” </span><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">― </span>Bram Stoker<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">, </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Dracula</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">I believe I once described the Little Man as a picky - strike that - combatively restrictive eater. Perhaps one day I will tell you th</span><span style="background-color: white;">e little story of RDI and the Miracle of the Lemons, but today the topic of conversations is BANANAS.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Our Little Man loves <span class="il">bananas</span>. In fact, <span class="il">bananas</span> are the only fruit the Little Man will consume.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">Unless, of course, you consider tomatoes a fruit. I don’t think I ever realized the was such a Tomato-Fruit or Vegetable-Kerfuffle until I just looked it up a minute ago. According to Wikipedia, while a tomato is “botanically a fruit, it is considered a vegetable for culinary purposes (as well as by the United States Supreme Court, see </span></span><i style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">Nix v. Hedden), </i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">which has caused some confusion.” Well, I say. Seems like a tomato is a fruit, except when it isn't. Only in America!</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Anyway, the problem with our Little Man and his love of <span class="il">bananas</span> is that he is stuck on Gerber Stage 3 <span class="il">bananas</span>. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">You read that right. The only fruit eaten by our seven year old little boy is Gerber Stage 3 <span class="il">Bananas</span>. I don’t know if it is a texture thing, or a routine thing, or an Autism thing. But whatever the H-E- double hockey sticks it is, the Little Man will not eat a regular <span class="il">banana</span>. We have tried many times and many ways. Small chunks, wholes, halves, and, thanks to the Wiggles, mashed. No-no-No and “Heck No.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Fortunately, however, his love of the liquefied stage 3 <span class="il">bananas</span> allows us to use them a delivery mechanism for all kinds of fun supplements he would otherwise reject. Score!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Now back to the tomato. The Little Man loves pizza, so we started making pizza at home. The wife purchased some all natural sauce, which had small chunks of tomato in the jar. One night, they are a-making-ze-pizz-a-pie, and lo and behold, the Little Man downs, a spoonful of sauce, chunks of tomato and all! Better yet, he went back for more! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Not content to leave well enough alone, I had a brain storm. Or at least what I would call a brain storm. I think the wife called it a brain fart. (You, know To-MAY-To / To-MAH-To and all.) I cut up a few small piece of <span class="il">banana</span>, about the size of the tomato chunks, and, unbeknownst to the Little Man, I hid them inside the liquefied Gerber <span class="il">Bananas</span>. Damn, am I a genius, or what?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I sat innocently next to the Little Man, and slowly and calmly fed him the <span class="il">bananas</span>. A couple of chunk-free spoon fills to whet the appetite, then it was time to unleash my brilliance. Here, comes the chunks…………….</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Did you hear the screaming there?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">In retrospect, it really wasn't that good of an idea. What kind of brain surgeon violates the trust of his dependent little boy, and hides something he really doesn't like in a jar of the only fruit he eats? I had to do some massive mea culpas in order to get the Little Man to trust me – and eat the chunk-free </span></span><span class="il" style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">bananas</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"> again. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Thank goodness. I feel like the wrath of the wife in me spoiling the –vitamin delivering <span class="il">bananas</span> – would have dwarfed the visceral primordial scream the little man gave when he discovered the hidden chunks of <span class="il">banana</span> in his <span class="il">banana</span> soup.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Now, back to my day job!</span></div>
Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-54091556158305215302012-07-20T10:37:00.001-04:002012-07-20T10:37:55.755-04:00A GLIMPSE IN TIME<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /><span class="huge" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><i>History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies.</i> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="huge" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">-Alexis de Tocqueville</span><br style="text-align: left;" /><span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"></span><br /><span class="huge" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><i>Nobody, I think, ought to read poetry, or look at pictures or statues, who cannot find a great deal more in them than the poet or artist has actually expressed. Their highest merit is suggestiveness.</i></span><span style="text-align: left;"></span><br style="text-align: left;" /><span class="bodybold" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">-Nathaniel Hawthorne</span><span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><br /></span>_________________________________________________________________________________</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Friends of ours once sent us a Christmas card of their two beautiful children posed in front of an large white mantel. The perfect setting for a slice of Yule-tide Americana. When we got the card, my wife looked at it curiously for a moment with no real reaction, turned it over to read the greeting. She then let out a bellowing laugh. She was laughing so hard, she could not find the words to tell me what was so funny. She could only manage to pass me the card. Set against the beautiful, high-end magazine, air-brushed quality backdrop were the flushed red faces of two clearly miserable children with the remnants of tear marks on their faces. Curious selection, no? I too paused curiously wondering about the picture selection…until I turned the card over and read the punch line: “</span><i><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">After 2 hours and 3 rolls of film, this was the best picture we could get. Happy Holidays anyway!</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I admire our friends for sending that card. It confirms one of the clichés I think I invented to get my family through the rough-cycles of Autism – <b>“If it doesn’t kill you, at least it will give you a good story to tell.”</b> Looking back now several years later, it’s funny how life can throw a wrench even in the most well-thought out, well-intentioned plans. Even a “bad” picture can provide a glimpse of the funny quirkiness of life many of us have been through. Those unexpected things are sometimes the most memorable. Indeed, I don’t remember any other cards I received that year (or even this year). </span></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">On the other hand, we have a picture of our Little Man that I took at a Fourth of July celebration a few years ago. He is standing tall and still against a fence – holding a small American Flag as if he was watching a Patriotic Parade. He is looking directly into the camera. It is rare to get such a good picture of the him. He rarely is still enough to get the shot and, when he is still, he will rarely look at the camera, let alone smile. As soon as I saw the image, I knew I had a keeper – maybe even an All-timer. Here was this little boy, in a struggle with physical and mental complexities – frozen in time as typical All-American young man. </span></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As great as that photo was, it just didn’t feel right. It was not him. This adorable little boy does not stay still. Whatever the hell Autism really, truly is and whatever unknown havoc it is reeking inside him, it is not a little serene slice of Americana. For the Little Man, it causes him to be in an almost constant state of motion. The truth is, as perfect as the picture looked, was an absolute fluke. He didn’t stop to pose for it. In fact, he didn't stop at all. He was having a bad day and was off on his own, unable to process the fact that I was watching him and oblivious to the fact I wanted to take his picture. He was lost in his own mind, his own Autism induced world. I could not get him to acknowledge me. As I watched him run back and forth with the flag, unaware of my presence, I figured I could at least get an action shot of him running with the flag – like Mel Gibson style from the movie <i>The Patriot (“Hold the Line!”) </i>So I pointed and clicked. Imagine my surprise when I saw the resulting image described above. It was the perfect picture and he was not even aware I took it. It just looks so right – that its wrong.</span></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Funny, our friends spent hours trying to get the perfect picture of their beautiful children and had to settle in frustration for a curious photo that did not present a true image of their family. And I spend one-click trying to get any passing image of our little boy that day, and had to lament the fact that the perfect image I captured did not present a true image of our Little Man. </span></span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Welcome to the deranged world of Autism!</span></span></div>
</div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-59010069094790070472012-07-06T16:08:00.000-04:002012-07-06T16:08:49.337-04:00GUESS AND GUESS AGAIN<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i>I think
there are two parts to each of us: who we are day to day, and who we are in our
broader intentions. Second guessing comes when the smaller part—the one
that is at the effect of everything—is afraid of the greater part that’s
forging a new way. -</i></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 15pt;">Sonya
Derian</span></div>
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</span><i>Good decisions come from
experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. -</i>Unknown<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">How much time
do you spend second guessing yourself? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should you have spoken
up? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should you
have gone? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should you
have called? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should you
have said “No.” </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should you
have apologized? For a mental lightweight like me, the list is literally
endless. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Even without
the curve ball that is Autism, I was destined to a future on a pleather couch
putting some therapist to sleep with everything I rue. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Lucky for
you, instead of doing that, I started this blog!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">I am Mr.
Cliché, but I have to admit, I find it extremely hard to forgive myself. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">It is really
hard to let go of a past mistakes. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">It is very hard to stop
wondering “what if.” </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">It’s hard to
not want to go back and meet myself in the past – and slap myself on the
head. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Hard,</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">For my wife
and I, raising a child with Autism has multiplied both the number and the
significance of things we second guess.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">To this day,
literally to this actual day, we still second guess ourselves on whether we
should have noticed Autism sooner. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">How many times did we
explain some of the early red flags away with “he just needs more time” or “all
kids do that” or “it’s a second child thing?” </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Thinking
about those days and those times still gives me a pit in my stomach.</span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"> It
still makes me feel like a fool. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Now, don’t
get all rational on me and ask what would be different today if we had noticed
12 days, 12 weeks, or 12 months before we actually did, </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">because the
rational answer is most certainly nothing.</span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"> [Who asked
you to crash the pity party with your fancy rational questions?]</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">[ While I’m
writing in brackets, it seems like an apropos time for a PUBLIC SERVICE
ANNOUNCEMENT. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">If you know
anyone who has concerns about the development of a child, please read my some
of my earliest posts on the First Signs we saw of Autism </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"> <a href="http://blogofisms.blogspot.com/2008/12/whats-in-name.html">WHAT'S IN A NAME</a></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"> and </span><a href="http://blogofisms.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html" style="color: #771000; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">OTHER SIGNS</a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">. </span><span style="background-color: white; border: 1pt none windowtext; font-family: inherit; line-height: 15pt; padding: 0in;">Please.]</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">We find it
almost impossible to believe that this cruddy Autism that is imposing its will
on our dynamic little boy is entirely beyond our control. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Let me
reiterate that: </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">It is
IMPOSSIBLE TO ACCEPT that WE HAVE NO CONTROL over the uninvited, unwelcome and
unwanted invader that had imprisoned my beautiful blue-eyed little boy in his
own body. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Not only is
it impossible to accept it. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">We will not accept it.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">One of the
cruel tricks Autism likes to play is to be completely and totally
unpredictable. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">From one day
to the next, or even multiple times within the same day, we can experience
dramatic, radical shifts in the Little Man’s demeanor. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">One minute he
can be calm, serene, clear, and cuddly. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">The next
minute he can be wild, loud, unapproachable and flailing. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Such dramatic
changes are not normally minute to minute, but </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">they can and
do sometimes happen that way.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">When you have
a child who senses are extremely sensitive to small variations and who has
severely impacted communication abilities, what do you do when you see a
radical change in his behavior or demeanor. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Of course,
you second guess yourself!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should we
have let him watch that show? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should we let him repeat
a Vivaldi song 50 times in a row? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should we force him to
finish his dinner? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should we
have reprimanded him for that outburst? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should would
let him eat a piece of cake at his birthday party? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should we
make him sit at his seat at dinner time? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should we
give in to his request to play Wii? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Should we give him a
third-bath of the day? </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Or shouldn’t
we?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Of course, as
soon as you think you found the answer to one of those questions, circumstances
change and you second-guess the answer.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">But, by my
way of thinking, if you are confronted with a challenge that you have not yet
solved, and you are not challenging your assumptions and second-guessing your
decisions, you have given up. </span> <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">For me, for this Little
Man, for this family, I prefer the lonely, pit-in-the stomach- 3 AM staring at
the ceiling search for answers -- to the serene resignation that comes with
accepting the battle is lost. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Now, pardon
me while I go back to second guessing!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-6877335294192355282012-06-24T12:18:00.000-04:002012-06-24T16:33:01.796-04:00HOPING AGAINST HOPE<span style="background-color: white;"><i>It's the best possible time to be alive, when almost everything you thought you knew is wrong. -</i><u style="font-style: italic;">Arcadia</u> by Tom Stoppard</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">_________________________________________________________________________________</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">In the summer after 6</span><sup style="background-color: white;">th</sup><span style="background-color: white;"> grade, I went to a local carnival. It was the type of vagabond carnival that wanders from city to city, town to town and neighborhood to neighborhood raising money for a church or civic association. It had the big gambling tent, the small gaming booths, and rides that did not exactly look like they passed inspection - a child's slice of heaven.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">In one of the gaming booths was a wheel. A large spinning game of chance with the numbers 1 through 40 it. Only a quarter to play. Pick a number, put your quarter on it and hope against hope that the wheel would spin around and point at your number - a 1 in 40 chance. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
As I was leaving the carnival on my way home, I spotted a prize on the top shelf of the 1 through 40 booth. I could not believe it. I wanted it so bad. No, I needed it. Bad. I had such an intense longing for that prize. It had to be mine. I only had one quarter. One shot. So I stepped up and placed my quarter on my favorite number at the time 23, and I watched and waited. <br />
<br />
As the wheel spun, I looked up at the prize. I could not have wanted it more. I could feel the endorphins taking over my body as the desire became deeper and my apprehension grew. <span style="background-color: white;">I looked back at the wheel and watched it slowing down. I performed a visual calculation in my head. I had a real chance at this. Forget reason. Forget odds. Forget reality. Forget common sense. </span><span style="background-color: white;"> I let my mind wander. I could see myself running home to tell my parents about what had happened, about how my last quarter won me the coveted prize. I could see all the fun I would have with the prize and could visualize sharing it with my sure-to-be-envious friends.</span><br />
<br />
The wheel creeped closer to number 23. 4 numbers away. 3, 2, 1.....<br />
<br />
And there it stopped - on number 40. I click away from number 23. I could feel my face getting flush as the vagabond carnival worker peered up at me with a look of pity as he slowly swiped my quarter- my hope - away into the carnival profit box. I was devastated, angry, embarrassed. I felt stupid for wasting my money, stupid for thinking I could win, and stupid for caring so much about something so small. <br />
<br />
But still, I remember that moment today, like it was yesterday. And I am still embarrassed to admit that. The prize was a silly complete set of knock-off wrestling dolls, that I would have lost interest in in 6 months or less and would have ended up broken and in the trash. But still the moment stays with me.<br />
<br />
That story of me as a young boy, hopeful, naive, gullible, and believing in the irrational and unreasonable is a perfect metaphor for life as a parent of a child with Autism. <span style="background-color: white;">The "wheel" consists of all the anecdotal stories we have heard of all of the different way parents have found to ameliorate the effects of Autism in their child. The "quarter" is in our hands, to chose which treatment, or method we want to bet on next. </span><br />
<br />
But the feelings of hopefulness and desire as we place a new bet, of shunning odds, or reason or common sense to believe we can win, and of anger and stupidity when our number is not called is not metaphoric. Those feelings are all real and we live them every day, through every choice we make.<br />
<br />
This weekend we learned it was not parasites in the digestion process.<br />
<br />
But, we have a life time of quarters to keep trying.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-52374484380333410752012-05-23T18:31:00.000-04:002012-05-23T18:31:10.730-04:00A IS FOR AWARD! (Oh no! Not the A to Z again)<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">"In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy" </span><span style="line-height: 18px;">— Brother David Steindl-Rast </span>
</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;"><i>_________________________________________________________________________________</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Ok. So I am weeks late in posting
my reflections on the A to Z Challenge 2012. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">To put this Challenge in perspective, let’s just say that from the time I first started putting the
proverbial electronic pen to the electronic paper on this Blog in 2008, until the A to Z Challenge started this April, I published 28 total posts. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">That’s right, a whopping 28 posts in almost 4
years- a nice leisurely pace.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Going
from that pace to 26 posts in 30 days is no easy
task.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s not called the A to Z Walk in
the Park.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s called a Challenge for a
reason -</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">and I discovered that reason
first hand.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s like going from a 5K to a marathon with
no training.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But, it was worth every post.
The Challenge introduced me to a whole new world of interesting,
talented, kind and diverse writers posting on all kinds of topics from dancing,
to road trips, to mental health and to gardening in a Citrus Grove in
Australia. Its humbling and motivating
to read what others have written on their blogs and see what kind remarks they
left on my posts. Indeed, it has
motivated me to started a new blog to allow me to go off topic and hone my
observational and writing skills in a new environment. I call it <a href="http://fromthehydrant.blogspot.com/">View from the Hydrant</a>. I don’t where it will go, or if it will go at
all, but I thought I might give it the old college try.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now on to more important news:
I RECEIVED AN AWARD!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaOedudo8TA2Wk_F44HNxojAH9z-sAwIIcVF1bKLqHnZT0kaZ4wCE5Vhh2qEMbfwlWXvUCut3KUABkJdcg3pm86YuwrxydebF2bhsIJOkmbjwYWqh1fU4sd25HTJHZrnKKSGRiSEe_YAM/s1600/Liebster.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaOedudo8TA2Wk_F44HNxojAH9z-sAwIIcVF1bKLqHnZT0kaZ4wCE5Vhh2qEMbfwlWXvUCut3KUABkJdcg3pm86YuwrxydebF2bhsIJOkmbjwYWqh1fU4sd25HTJHZrnKKSGRiSEe_YAM/s1600/Liebster.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Imagine my surprise to return to writing on the blog to find one of my
new blogging friends has nominated this Blog of ISMS for an award. "<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #111111;">Liebster" in German means dearest, beloved, or
favorite, and it is an award given to certain bloggers with under 200
followers!</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now I must fulfill my duties as an award winner:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">First, thank the presenter and link back to that person. That’s easy.
Thank you to Carrie at <a href="http://hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/"><b>The Slow Dripped Life</b></a> for nominating me for this award. Carrie
is a very talented writer with an unbelievably positive outlook on life. Her optimism and kindness are infectious and
I encourage everyone to go read her posts.
Great stuff. She writes
prolifically and be sure not to miss Fridge Poetry Friday – I am addicted to
it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Next, copy and paste the award on your blog: <i>Booyeah!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now, the intriguing part: to nominate 5 others. Here we go:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">First, I nominate Amy at <b><a href="http://fromthemomcave.blogspot.com/">From the Mom Cave</a>.</b> I stumbled upon Amy’s site many months ago
when I was preparing my post on that darn Baby Einstein Company (<i>curse you Julie Clark)</i>. It is a must read blog for any parent of a
child with Autism. It will make you
laugh, it will make you cry, it will make you think, and it will make you
admire Amy and her family. I learned of
the A to Z Challenge from Amy’s blog and am very grateful to her for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Next, I nominate The Mommy Patient at <a href="http://thinquehappythoughts.blogspot.com/"><b>Doctor’s Orders</b></a>. This was one of the first blogs I read as
part of the A to Z Challenge and looked forward to reading it every day. You will have fun going through the past
posts, reading the random thoughts and looking at the hilarious photos/artwork. Be sure to check out the early A to Z Posts about dancing. Great stuff with talented drawings. Oh,
and she is super kind to boot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Our next nominee is Jana at <a href="http://seriouslyshutthefrontdoor.blogspot.com/"><b>Shut the Front Door</b></a>. You want some funny real life stories coupled with some seriously off-color humor to get you through the day?
This is where you want you to go.
She speaks in French sometimes – if you know what I mean- so if you don’t
have a problem with that – you should definitely add this to your must read list.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Next is Deb at “Annals from a <a href="http://acitrusgroveinthesuburbs.blogspot.com/"><b>A Citrus Grove in the Suburbs</b></a>. What is there not to love about reading about
life gardening in Sydney, Australia? If
you even have a little bit of an inkling to cook, grow your own herbs or
vegetables or start gardening, I recommend you to follow Deb from the beginning of her journey. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Last, but not least is Horst from <a href="http://horst-peters.blogspot.com/"><b>Tangents</b></a>. Horst was one of the first people I met
through A to Z. He is a brave man who
shares his journey with mental health challenges, while at the same time
producing beautiful pictures and educational insights.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So there you have it you are now reading an award winning blog! And now back to your regularly scheduled
Autism blogging.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-75986423425570449192012-04-30T12:55:00.002-04:002012-05-02T12:43:21.455-04:00The Zone<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension
as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between
light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit
of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of
imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone. </i>- <i>Narrator,</i> <i>The Twilight Zone, Season One.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do.- </span><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Orison Swett Marden</span></i></span></span>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">_____________________________________________________________________________________________</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you
are a professional sports fan, you often hear that there are some of the most
elite athletes who enter “the zone.” The
zone is an area where they are not flustered; where they can tune out all of
the distractions of the crowd, of the arena, of the atmosphere, of the
pressure; and where they can focus singularly on excelling at the task at
hand. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In
Autism, we also have our own little version of that we call “the zone,” which
in adjective form is “zoney.” It has just
become our little short shrift way of saying that the Little Man is having one
of those days where he is particularly removed from any form of social
interaction. Those days, which appear
from time to time without any discernable pattern, where the Little Man cannot
respond meaningfully to a simple question, and is perseverating on the orderly
topic <i>de jure: </i>colors, shapes, planets,
letters, numbers and, of course, that Baby Einstein junk<i> </i>(<a href="http://blogofisms.blogspot.com/2011/12/baby-einstein.html">See Baby Einstein Post</a>). Actually, the topic of interest most recently
is the song <i>A Whole New World</i> – go figure.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am
not sure that I ever really used or understood the word “perseverating” before
Autism imposed its will on our lives and, if I did, I certainly did not
appreciate what it meant. Trying to
describe what it is and how it has revealed itself to us would be akin to
trying to tell someone what sardines taste like. You can use all the words you want, but you
can never truly appreciate it until you experience the unpleasantness for
yourself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The dictionary
definition of perseveration describes what it is quite well: “<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Perseveration</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> </span></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">is the repetition of a particular response, such
as a word, phrase, or gesture, despite the absence or cessation of a stimulus,
usually caused by brain injury or other organic disorder.</span>” That’s all well and good, but what is the fun
in book learning? Some things you just
need to experience. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">I know I referenced this before, but did you ever get a song in your head and couldn’t get
it out? After a while it gets so
annoying and so frustrating, you just need to do anything to get rid of
it. Imagine now, that you could not get
that song out of your head for a few days.
And imagine now that you were compelled to sing it. Image that all you could focus on is the
lyrics; that you could not even process simple requests; or perform basic functions;
or be aware of your surroundings. All
you can focus on is that song. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">One of
our truly incredible providers once said our Little Man almost always has a full
length feature presentation going on inside his head. On an average day, his mind is constantly
going back and forth between the “real world” and The Zone. Some days, the good days, the “real world”
wins and he is engaging, and brilliant and fun and clear for most of the day. Other days, the bad days, he is stuck in the
Zone and he is removed, and frustrated and challenged. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And now,
back to figuring out what the triggers are!</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-3700427362996712882012-04-28T18:42:00.001-04:002012-05-02T12:47:22.875-04:00Y is for Yesterday<br />
<div align="left" style="text-align: -webkit-left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><i>A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves. -Amelia Earhart</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">________________________________________________________________________________</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yesterday was just a typical day in the life of our family and it was a good one. Strike that. It was a very good one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yesterday was a school day. Our Little Man spends part of his day in a "self-contained" class with other children, like him, who have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders, and part of his day in a typical first grade classroom. Given the nature of his impairment, our Little Man is accompanied to the typical first grade class with a one- on-one aide. Her name is Mrs. P.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For those new to the blog, I should tell you that our Little Man has a severe communication impairment. In more technical terms, he has a severe "expressive communication" impairment. He has great difficulty expressing himself. Its almost as if he doesn't understand the concept of a conversation. If you ask him something with a definitive, concrete answer, he can, usually, with prompting, answer it. Questions like: What color is that car; or What is my name? If you ask that kind of clear question, that has a definitive answer, you have a <i>reasonable </i>chance of getting a response.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now the fun part,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Ask a question with a subjective, open-ended or unclear answer and you have almost no shot at getting a response. Questions like: How are you; or How was school today? Such questions can not be meaningfully answered.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">His inability to answer that second question is particularly troublesome to his parents. We send him on the school bus in the morning and receive him home in the afternoon, with almost no way of determining what happened to him in the day. Most days, we get a pre-printed form home, with a smiley face circled on it. That is all we know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">How was his day: </span></div>
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSg4ZXqfWYdd6SI4Lpk8UyPIH53c2e4tysgdJpqEZiu6oGhV1lx" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></a><a href="https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSg4ZXqfWYdd6SI4Lpk8UyPIH53c2e4tysgdJpqEZiu6oGhV1lx" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSg4ZXqfWYdd6SI4Lpk8UyPIH53c2e4tysgdJpqEZiu6oGhV1lx" width="200" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Doesn't tell you much, I know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In this day and age, with all the reports of bullying and other such nonsense at schools, it certainly is a big leap of faith to allow a child with severe communication impairments out into the world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thankfully, we have Mrs. P. A few weeks ago, my wife asked the school for more information about the Little Man's day. He was spending more time with Mrs. P in the typical first grade and we had no idea how it was going. Other than Mr. Smiles above, we literally had no idea. But that simple request from my wife opened a whole new door of communication. Each week Mrs. P sends home her hand written notes of her observations. We look so forward to those glimpses of his days. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mrs. P's care and concern for the Little Man is immediately apparent by what she writes and how she writes it. Indeed, just yesterday, on the eve of the Little Man's birthday, Mrs. P gave him a book and in the book she inscribed the following:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Happy Birthday! Thanks for teaching me something new everyday.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">At a time when there is some pretty bad news in our community about children with special needs and bullying in our school district, we are certainly lucky to have someone like Mrs. P.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Enjoy the weekend!</span></div>
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<br /></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-61013164054454186332012-04-27T11:50:00.001-04:002012-04-27T11:50:53.909-04:00X+Y= Higher Risk of Autism<br />
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</div>
<span class="huge" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>It is the mark of a truly intelligent person to be moved by statistics.- George Bernard Shaw</i></span></span><br />
<span class="huge" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></span><br />
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<i>The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just. </i><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">- Abraham Lincoln</span></span></i></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">_________________________________________________________________________________</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 115%;">“Each
person normally has one pair of sex chromosomes in each cell. Females have two
X chromosomes, whereas males have one X and one</span> <span style="background: white; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Y chromosome.<span class="apple-converted-space">” (</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X_chromosome">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X_chromosome</a>).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Why does that matter here?</div>
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Have you seen the most recent statistics on the prevalence of
Autism?</div>
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<br /></div>
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When we first started our Autism journey about 5 years ago,
it was reported that the risk of having a child with autism about 1 in
150. In 2009, that figure was changed to
1 in 110. Earlier this year the United
States’ Center for Disease Control and Prevention changed that figure again.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Today, it is reported that <b>1 in 88 children</b> in the United States is diagnosed with an Autism
Spectrum Disorder. <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/AutismNews/autism-rates-rise-88-cdc/story?id=16028834#.T5q4CbOm_ko">See this ABC News Story</a></div>
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<br /></div>
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If that figure was not staggering enough in itself, consider
that there are also regional differences.
In New Jersey, where we reside, the numbers are even more alarming. The CDC statistics show that <b>1 in 49</b> <b>children</b> in New Jersey is diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum
Disorder.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Now back to the Chromosomes. Why does it matter if you have 2 x <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">chromosomes or 1 x </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">chromosome and 1 y </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">chromosome?</span></div>
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You may have heard that boys tend to be diagnosed with
Autism more than girls. Here are the
statistics broken down:</div>
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<u><br /></u></div>
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<u>National:</u><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10pt;">§<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--> 1 in 88<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10pt;">§<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Boys: 1 in 54</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<u><br /></u></div>
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<u>New
Jersey:</u><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10pt;">§<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->1 in 49<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10pt;">§<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Boys: 1 in 29</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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(Source: <a href="http://autismnj.org/AbouttheNewsroom.aspx#CDC Rates">http://autismnj.org/AbouttheNewsroom.aspx#CDC
Rates</a>)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<br />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-34974324869940370832012-04-26T00:30:00.000-04:002012-04-26T00:30:01.198-04:00The Wife<br />
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<i>I was a child and she was a child</i></div>
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<i> In this kingdom by the sea:</i></div>
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<i>But we loved with a love that was more than love-</i></div>
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<i> I and my Annabel Lee,</i></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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<o:p><i><u>Annabel Lee</u>, </i>Edgar Allen Poe</o:p></div>
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_________________________________________________________________________________</div>
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<br /></div>
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I usually run all of my posts by my wife to make sure my occasionally
occurring Foot-in-Mouth Disease does not rear its ugly head. Not this one.
Look out gums, here come the toes!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I met my wife when I was 14 years old.
It was love at first sight. We
quickly became old-fashioned, old school style high school sweethearts-the kind
where weekends hanging out with friends quickly became weekends hanging out
together alone. It was the kind of love
where it did not matter what we were doing, so long as we were doing it
together. Our favorite thing then (and
now almost 25 years later!) was driving in the car together. If there was an ice cream store 2 miles away, we
would drive to the one 20 miles away, just to enjoy each other’s company. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I often tell my wife that I believe our coming together was planned by
someone or something far more powerful than us. I think we met when we did for a
reason. Her father passed away when she
was only 17 – and I got to know him for about 3 years. He was a very special man – a gentleman in
the pursuit sense of the word – and I am honored to recount his life to our
children, who never had the honor to know him.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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If there was ever any doubt in my mind about the existence of a
higher power and that power’s role in bringing us together, that question was
resolved conclusively when Autism entered our lives. All that I do, all that I say, all that I am,
all that I have written, the smile on my face today and my optimism about the
future are all possible because of her.
She is loving, patient, caring, compassionate, intelligent, selfless and
beautiful. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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My wife is a tireless researcher and advocate for our child. If there is an article out there on Autism,
she knows about it. If there is a story
out there about a child with Autism, she has read it. If there is a treatment option, she has
considered it. She sacrifices all of
her time to ensure the well-being of our children. She sacrifices herself physically during
those recurring sleep-deprived nights and days of flailing arms. When
not putting out the Autism-induced fires, there she is on the computer, researching,
advocating, questioning, reflecting, listening, volunteering and offering advice. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And, when she is not riding the roller coaster that is our life, she
is there riding it with others- offering information to other families starting
a similar journey and feeling their pains and sharing their joys. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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When Autism is someday in our rear-view mirror it will be because of
her efforts navigating us through it all.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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How she does all of that and still puts up with me is a question for the ages!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-72709416033016157822012-04-25T00:04:00.000-04:002012-04-25T00:04:34.812-04:00V is for.........(wait for it)..........<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">Follow your </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">heart</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">. Learn to trust your </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">heart</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">. - Unknown</span></i></span><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />_________________________________________________________________________________</span><br />
<br />
V is for VACCINES! <br />
<br />
What is an Autism blog without a post on vaccines?<br />
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<br /></div>
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Even if Autism has not directly impacted your life, you have
probably heard about the controversy surrounding vaccinations. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Here at the Blog of Isms, we do not delve in to the controversial. And, I am fairly certain that my two-cents on
this topic are worthless. Also, since I
already alienated some of my readers with yesterday's revealing post on my love
of soccer, I am not about to alienate the rest of you with commentary on
vaccines.</div>
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<br /></div>
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But, hypothetically speaking, if I had to comment on vaccines, I would say the following:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>Brilliant words. More brilliant words. Insightful words. Very insightful words. Extremely insightful words. Some self deprecating words. Very, very funny words. Filler words.
Words that will be edited if the post gets to long. Creative transition words. Plain words.
More plain words. Poor word
choices made in haste. Words I will
later regret. Words that will later get
me a smack from my wife. Average words. More Average words. Some below average words. Fifty-Cent words. Words with brilliant and insightful
commentary. Words that will alienate someone. Words that put the alienating words in context. Healing words. Kumbaya. </i></div>
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I would follow that up with: <i>Brilliant insight which will be purchased by Hallmark.</i></div>
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That all being said, I can tell you this: </div>
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<br /></div>
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I have three boys now ages 8, 6 and 3. After thoughtful consideration and due diligence,
all three have received the recommended vaccinations. The six year old has Autism. The other two do not.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Please disperse.
There is nothing left to see here!</div>
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<br /></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-48940457726954795062012-04-24T13:57:00.000-04:002012-06-25T17:32:03.531-04:00We Support the Union (no not that Union)<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white;">For now you know one of the greatest principles of success; if you persist long enough you will win.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">-- Og Mandino</span></i></span>
<br />
_________________________________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
At risk of alienating some of my less than tens of readers, I feel I have to make an admission:<br />
<br />
I like to watch professional soccer. Yes, its true. <br />
<br />
About 3 years ago, I watched the Philadelphia Union play their first ever game at the newly constructed PPL Park on the Delaware River in Chester, PA. I was not a huge soccer fan prior to that point, but there was something about being there live that was infectious. I think it was, in soccer parlance, the Supporters Section. At PPL Park there is a section, called the "River End" that is restricted to the Union "supporters," called the Sons of Ben. You can't sit in that section unless you are a member of the Sons of Ben - and you really can't sit in that section unless you are prepared to stand, sing, and listen to the beat of a drum for the entire game. Even for a casual observer, the atmosphere is truly amazing. Here is a video and the lyrics to one of my favorite, pretty standard Sons of Ben chants.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/_eQeX75tU9g/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_eQeX75tU9g&fs=1&source=uds" />
<param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" />
<embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_eQeX75tU9g&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<br />
<i> We love ya</i><br />
<i> We love ya</i><br />
<i> We love ya</i><br />
<i> And where you go we'll follow</i><br />
<i> We'll follow</i><br />
<i> We'll follow</i><br />
<i> 'Cause we support the Union</i><br />
<i> The Union</i><br />
<i> The Union</i><br />
<i> And that's the way we like it</i><br />
<i> We like it</i><br />
<i> We like it</i><br />
<i> Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooooooooooooooh</i><br />
<i> Oh-oh oh-oh-ooooooooooooooh</i><br />
<br />
<br />
Okay, so what does this have to do with Autism and/or the Little Man?<br />
<br />
Um, I forget. I wrote Union for the letter U a couple of weeks ago and don't remember why. <br />
<br />
I kid you. But, I did warn you yesterday that today's post would be crappy. <br />
<br />
Long story short, did you ever see the movie <i>Who Framed Roger Rabbit?</i> In the movie, the animated Roger Rabbit has a compulsion. If someone knocks the old tune of "Shave and a haircut" the Rabbit must, must, must, respond singing "two, bits...." Even if the Rabbit is supposed to be hidden and quiet, he can't resist the urge to yell "two, bits...." to complete the tune and put himself in danger.<br />
<br />
I often notice that our Little Man has a similar quality. He is somewhat obsessive compulsive and hates having anything left incomplete. If you start singing, Row, Row, Row Your Boat, he will make sure you sing it to the end. This is even true if the song drives him crazy.<br />
<br />
Cue the Union song from above. So I played the video above for my kids one night and we had a great time all singing it together. As you can imagine, the novelty quickly wore off and the attitude of the kids went quickly from "Dad, you're so cool" to "Dad, stop be so annoying!"<br />
<br />
But, if you can't annoy your kids, who can you annoy?<br />
<br />
So, I know the Little Man (LM) must finish the song once it starts, no matter how annoyed he is, so our version of the song goes a little like this:<br />
<br />
ME: We love ya, We love ya, We love ya<br />
LM: (yelling) All Done!<br />
(Pause)<br />
LM: And where you go we'll follow<br />
ME: We'll follow; we;ll follow<br />
LM: (yelling) All Done!<br />
(Pause)<br />
LM: 'Cause we support the Union...<br />
<br />
<br />
I try not to torture him TOO much!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-8228554822823066072012-04-23T11:31:00.001-04:002012-04-23T18:22:06.439-04:00Fun with the Letter "T"<br />
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<o:p><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it” – Salvador Dali</span></span>
</o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will” – George Bernard Shaw</span></span>
</o:p></div>
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_________________________________________________________________________________</div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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It not easy coming up with 26 posts in one
month on the topic of Autism that don’t make people want to jump off a bridge
or burn me in effigy. Several weeks ago the letter T seemed so
easy. Autism…Treatment Options. I figured a little pontification on this
treatment vs. that one and WHAM! I am off to my sure-to-be-crappy
post about the letter “U.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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But, in reality there is nothing I can say interesting about treatment
options which isn’t on Wikipedia or About.com or any reputable medical
website. Many of my posts reference the different things we are doing with the Little Man. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, here I was yesterday struggling to come up with a concept for the
letter T. As I am batting ideas in my head last night at Mom-Mom’s house, I notice
the Little Man using magnetic letters to
spell words on the fridge. Right now, he
is perseverating on the song “A Whole New World.” In case you don't know what perseverating is, think obsessive compulsive times 10. He listened to the song like 100 times this weekend and converted a towel into a magic carpet to act out the video. The other day he actually wrote all of the
lyrics out in crayon. So, naturally, he is using the magnetic letters to spell out the title to the song.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Problem:</b> The magnetic letters at Mom Mom’s house have survived
many grandchildren so what remains is not a complete set of letters, but a hodge-podge
of different sets of letters gathered over the years. Many letters are missing. We had the makings of a possible meltdown on
our hands. The Little Man’s drive to get
the words on the fridge (<a href="http://blogofisms.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-is-forumideopraxist.html">He is an Ideopraxist, you know</a>) vs. the fact that many
letters were missing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now the interesting part. The title
“A Whole New World” has three W’s.
However, there was only one magnetic W in Mom Mom’s set. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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You often hear that children with Autism are very rigid in their thinking. They like predictable patterns and they do not
like change or the unexpected. Those
things are all generally true. But, our
Little Man is also immensely creative and has unbelievable problem solving
abilities
(<a href="http://blogofisms.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-is-forumideopraxist.html">He is an Ideopraxist, you know</a>).
We watched him as he used a letter “I” as a lower case “L”. He got to the second “W” and used an upside
down “M.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, now the truly amazing part.
He got to the third “W” with hardly any letters left. I was thinking maybe a “E” on its back – but there
were no E’s left. Plus, this is a Post about
the letter “T” right? He got two letter “Ts”
and made this:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7-siR6o2SKIFhbyd4sagppF3VujQ-fl8eqWdYcr6C_oBHU6ROuIWwRM_Xu2LKmWLczPpEFMwE1o_hiVQRWXwfUId71W8CDrbsmfgfjwYVvZMRrhFrb6RfNGv_XUk85pmW83Zb2Oqv3gE/s1600/two+t's.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7-siR6o2SKIFhbyd4sagppF3VujQ-fl8eqWdYcr6C_oBHU6ROuIWwRM_Xu2LKmWLczPpEFMwE1o_hiVQRWXwfUId71W8CDrbsmfgfjwYVvZMRrhFrb6RfNGv_XUk85pmW83Zb2Oqv3gE/s1600/two+t's.bmp" /></a></div>
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<b>Problem solved.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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This kid never ceases to amaze me.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-10999170242035936182012-04-21T08:58:00.000-04:002012-04-21T08:58:35.839-04:00S is for Siblings<div>
<i>Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love. - Unknown</i></div>
<i><br /></i><br />
<i>Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero. - Marc Brown</i><br />
_________________________________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
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Over the life of this blog, I have written of our
experiences with the Little Man – from before his diagnosis with Autism over 4
years ago until our experiences <i>de jure</i>. <i> </i>Over time, I have
made references to the 2 blessing in his life: his Older Brother and his
Younger Brother. <u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the morning I was preparing the L is for Lion post –
(which seems like forever ago know by the way (curse you A to Z Challenge))- my
oldest son pulled up a chair next to me. He read aloud every word I was
typing, as it was being typed. He pointed out typos. He suggested
words when I was mulling over the right one to use. He was so excited to
get the camera and take a picture of the mangled Lion, and upload it. He
just loved being part of it all. He loves helping his brother. That
is the way it always is for him. He just loves helping and being part of
it all. <u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt the need to explain to him that I write this blog
about the Little Man so I can share our experiences with Autism, so that we can
hopefully help some family, like we have been helped in so many ways by others.<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told him that I had something special planned for him
too. When I get to the S post – today- I was going to post about him and
the Younger Brother: The siblings. His eyes lit up and I could see
the wheels spinning about what the post would be about. Siblings and
Autism. He thought a minute more, before his face lit up and he said
proudly: “<i>Yea dad, you can write about <b>brothers acting like
mothers.”</b></i><u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You have no idea how much it hurts to write those words.
Profound and heartbreaking. To think that my beautiful, handsome,
creative, intelligent, determined, sweet, compassionate and loving 8 year old
little boy will remember his child hood as being “like a mother” to his
younger brother hurts. It hurts so bad because it is true.
Over the years as we have come to rely on our other little guys so much all to
help my wife and I keep it together: to act as extra set of eyes, ears and
hands; to make sacrifices; to forego pleasurable activities; to forego trips to
places; to forego things they would rather being doing; and, perhaps the most
difficult, understanding why the Little Man gets seemingly preferential
treatment. <u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Our children are the spine of this family - without
them we are nothing. <u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I cannot pretend to articulate how special our children are,
or how blessed we are to have them– I would need more than a single post- and
more than an encyclopedia full of posts. But, I can share with you these
two glimpses into how special they are:<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The Older Brother<u5:p></u5:p></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Perhaps a few weeks before our Little Man was officially
diagnosed with Autism, I knew something was wrong- I just wasn’t sure what it
was. I had many sleepless nights and was sad, scared and desperate.
I had the Older Brother, barely 4, laying on my bed, and I was helping
him change his clothes. I looked him deeply in the eyes and said to him –
“Promise me, no matter what, you will always take care of your bother.”
To which he responded “okay.” <u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few weeks ago, I kiddingly told the Older Brother, now
almost 9, that although he might not remember it, he entered into a valid and
binding contract when he was 4 and he could not get out it. My wife and I
laughed as we recounted to him the story of that “promise” he made 5 years
before. He looked slightly startled and confused as to why we thought the
story was humorous. “Of, course I am always going to take care of him,”
he said so matter of factly. It was not even a question for him. <u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was not the first, nor the last time, his huge heart
has brought his parents to tears.<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The Younger Brother</u></b><u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Younger Brother is only 3 years old. Still
practically a baby, he is so observant and tuned into the rhythms of our
house. He is older than his 3 years. One of the most difficult things for us to try to convince him <u>not</u>
to emulate the ISMS of the Little Man. Can you imagine the
conversations? The Little Man comes, looks at us and says- “I want chalk”
and my wife and I go overboard “Oh, that is so great you asked so
nice.” The Younger Brother comes to us and says – “I want milk” and we go
crazy in the other direction- “Where are your manners!? You don’t say ‘I
want’ you say ‘May I please have.” (Yes, we are saving money for therapy).<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a very rare moment a few days ago, the entire family was
seated in our family room watching TV, when the Little Man wandered out of the
room. My wife and I have an unwritten 2 minute trigger- we do not want
the Little Man unattended more than 2 minutes in any room. If he has not
reported back in 2 minutes, we have to go check. Sometimes we ask
the Older Brother to go check and report back, or to just go play in the same
room. This day was different. After a few moments without the
Little Man in the room, the Younger Brother got up, and made the dramatic
pronouncement: “Guys, I go check on him. I be right back.” Only 3 and he is
naturally inclined to take care of his older brother.<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Brothers being mothers indeed.<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are truly blessed.<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>Exit Question</u>: Why mothers and not fathers Older Brother? What are you trying to get at?<br />
<br /></div>
<u5:p></u5:p>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-59037670185371089092012-04-20T10:53:00.003-04:002012-04-20T15:47:19.217-04:00REGRESSION<br />
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Nobody trips over
mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the
pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." –U</span></i><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">nknown<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When the world says,
'give up,' hope whispers, 'try it one more time.'" -U</span></span></i><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">nknown</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">_________________________________________________________________________________</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The word “regression,” when
used in connection with Autism usually describes a group of children who
develop age appropriate language abilities and social skills for approximately
the first 18 months of their lives, and then lose those skills and abilities,
typically around the age of 2. It can be contrasted with early-onset
autism, where the child misses developmental milestones without a noticeable
regression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In our house, we often use
“regression” in a different way. We use regression to describe those
days, or periods of days, which occur without a predictable pattern, where the
Little Man loses skills and abilities that were previously believed to be
mastered. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you have or have been
around a baby, do you remember those days when the baby would cry and you would
have to guess the cause for the tears? You start with the usual suspects:
hungry, thirsty, tired, diaper. You know you guessed right when the
crying stopped. Eventually, the baby develops the communication abilities
to tell you what it is he or she needs – a point, a gesture, a smile, and
ultimately words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Well for us, Autism
intervened to thwart the development of those communication abilities. It
took us a very long time, and a lot of hard work, to get the Little Man to
communicate his basic needs to us in a way we could understand and act
upon. In the early days, when we wanted to know if he was hungry, we
needed a visual prompt, such as a box of waffles, or the use of sign language –
accompanied by the words: <i>Do you want a waffle?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Slowly over time we were
able to remove the visual prompt and eventually the Little Man developed the
ability to come to us on his own when he was hungry and say “I want a waffle.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There are literally
hundreds of examples of these successes. Successes where you think he
mastered a skill and you are lulled into a false sense of security. If he
is hungry, he will tell us, right? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then came regression day!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">My wife and were
startled to hear the Little Man downstairs screaming in tears. What
happened? Was he hurt? No physical signs of injury. Are you
hungry? Do you want to go downstairs? Do you want to watch
TV? Do you want to go outside? These are all things he can ask for,
but we received no response, no indication. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And the guessing game
began. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Perhaps a shower will
calm him? Nope. A TV show? Nope. A car ride? Nope. Two tearful
hours passed with no indication of what was wrong. We were ready to call
the doctor fearing it was something internal. In a last ditch effort, we
decided my wife would take the other kids, who were visibly shaken, out of the
house while I tried a few more things. As she was leaving, my wife left a
bowl of Cheerios on the table and took the other guys out for a much needed
respite. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I saw them off as the
Little Man stopped crying. Three bowls of Cheerios, two waffles and a
bowl of pretzels later, we discovered the problem: he was famished. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">After weeks, months and
years of progress, where he was able to communicate his basic human needs to
us, why did he suddenly lose that ability? That, my friends, is a
question for someone more intelligent that I. It is just a cyclical
thing that happens from time to time in our Autism reality show.
Fortunately, the cycle goes back in the opposite direction and just, like that,
he is back to himself, telling us what he wants – when he wants it. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-80829846183826513042012-04-19T00:00:00.000-04:002012-04-19T10:18:36.923-04:00QIGONG MASSAGE<i>When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. -Lao Tzu</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still. - Chinese Proverb</span></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">_________________________________________________________________________________</span></i></span><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
I think you can imagine that when faced with a chronic disabling condition, such as Autism, you are willing to consider many different treatment methods. From the treatments supported with the most medical evidence to those supported with only anecdotal evidence, nothing is off the table. <br />
<br />
There are many questions we discuss before we are willing to give a new ameliorative effort a try. Is there any risk to our child? What is the evidence that it works? What is the theory behind it? Does it introduce something foreign into our child's system? <br />
<br />
I can tell you this: I am willing to try any low cost, non-invasive treatment based on a handful of anonymous positive reports from the comments section of a blog. You want me to wear a powdered wig and wear my shirt backwards while dancing on one leg bellowing out an ancient Mayan chant? Show me where I can get a wig. (<a href="http://www.beautyselect.com/bargain-colonial-man-1.html">http://www.beautyselect.com/bargain-colonial-man-1.html</a>)<br />
<br />
Enter the Qigong Massage.<br />
<br />
About 2 years ago, my wife read an article reporting on the positive effects of pediatric massage therapy on children suffering with cancer. A little further Internet research and she read about the positive reports of parents learning and performing Qigong massage on children with Autism. <br />
<br />
If you are interested you can read more about it here: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qigong_Sensory_Training">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qigong_Sensory_Training</a><br />
<br />
We are about 6 weeks into performing the massage methods on our Little Man. At first, it was a little challenging to get him to keep still. But we have since gotten into a groove. He is starting to really enjoy it and even asks for it by name.<br />
<br />
Best of all, we have seen some positive changes in our Little Man since we started. He seems calmer, clearer, more engaged and happier. This is definitely something we will keep doing and, so far, would recommend.<br />
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</div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-62046826547002150312012-04-18T10:20:00.000-04:002012-04-18T10:20:01.514-04:00Pictures<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="huge" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;">People are always looking for the single magic bullet that will totally change everything. There is no single magic bullet.- Temple Grandin</span></i></span><br />
<span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></span><br />
<span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;">On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow. -</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #796964; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Friedrich Nietzsche</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #796964; line-height: 17px;"> </span> </i></span></span><br />
<span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>_________________________________________________________________________________</i></span></span><br />
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So, perhaps the world's most famous person with an Autism Spectrum Disorder is Temple Grandin. Anyone who has HBO has probably seen the movie about her. Dr. Grandin has done so much for the Autism community by sharing her life and describing how she experiences the world. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJbVprg20sS9xVXigx-6hUIIjtvpcSUgT8wagMGUedr24jfnsQ0n4J88oBVjD7HOZ7IsLsPergSDkJjqUMDFWbvL7xONvyuISfcVqgSXXC3NmfGYgZAKwkj99p9l9Ltk4wwojIEgtS_U4/s1600/ThinkingInPicturesNew.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJbVprg20sS9xVXigx-6hUIIjtvpcSUgT8wagMGUedr24jfnsQ0n4J88oBVjD7HOZ7IsLsPergSDkJjqUMDFWbvL7xONvyuISfcVqgSXXC3NmfGYgZAKwkj99p9l9Ltk4wwojIEgtS_U4/s200/ThinkingInPicturesNew.png" width="131" /></a></div>
Although I have not yet fully read her book, <i>Thinking in Pictures,</i> the excerpts I have read have helped us tremendously in understanding and deciphering our Little Man.<br />
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It is clear to us that much like Dr. Grandin, our Little Man thinks in pictures, not words. I recall one day, when were trying to play Wii where my oldest and I were trying to teach the Little Man to push the "A" and "B" buttons on the controller at the same time. We tried to no avail. Like imbeciles, the oldest and I, acting like we were talking to an Aunt with hearing problems, increased the volume of our speech: <b>PRESS "A" and "B."</b> No luck One second later, the image of what to do popped up on the screen -- no words -- and viola! He unlocked it!<br />
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Visual image + no words = Ideal Learning Environment. <br />
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The best way I can get my feeble mind around it is to think of words as a foreign language to him. Sure he can do it, but it is not his natural language. Pictures are his natural language. That discovery (which came with the assistance of some wonderful professionals) has unlocked so many doors for us.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-72548280200900344412012-04-17T00:11:00.003-04:002012-04-17T00:11:49.867-04:00O is for Optimism<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Sometimes you just have
to believe, whether it's rational or not, you just have to believe. -Me</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Don't give up.
Don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> _______________________________________________________________________</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I called this Blog the
"Blog of Isms" for a reason. Sure there is the obvious: I
have a son who has been diagnosed with Autism and he exhibits a
significant deal of quirky little attributes that we lovingly refer to as
"ISMS." Indeed, my lovely wife and I have even co-opted the
"ISMS" term when we refer to those quirky little things we see in
each other <s>which drive each other crazy</s> which make us so endearing
to one another. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sure, this blog is about
those things, but it is equally about my favorite -ism: Optimism. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I hope anyone who reads
this blog gets the sense that we are very happy and that we try to remain very
optimistic about today, about tomorrow and about the future. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Don't get me wrong,
there are dark days. In fact, there are many dark days. But dark
days are hardly unique to us. And I do my best not to share our dark days
here. Just glimpses of what life with
Autism is like for us, hopefully with a positive, humorous spin. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I seriously mean
that. I have failed in what it is I am
doing here if anyone, let alone someone affected by Autism, reads this blog and feels negative in any way. No matter how bad things can be, they could be worse, and they will get better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">If I had a dollar, for
ever time I saw my Little Man, do something new, or achieve some milestone that
I thought at one point was impossible, I would be planning to build my very own
McMansion right now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">How do you get through
the dark days? Well, clichés of course! Jeeze, I would be working on my second
McMansion right now if I had a dollar for every cliché I uttered in the last year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">There is a cliché for
every occasion. Truly. In fact, in preparation for this post, I discovered
an internet searchable cliché finder. <a href="http://www.westegg.com/cliche/">http://www.westegg.com/cliche/</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But one of the most often repeated clichés in our house is this:
Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I can’t tell you why,
but I believe they will find a remedy for Autism in our lifetime. And, if they don’t we will enjoy the bejesus
out of our time here playing the hand we’ve been dealt in the meantime.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-89484933978058192022012-04-16T00:04:00.000-04:002012-04-16T00:04:30.621-04:00NIGHTWAKINGS<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake and talking to one another in the waking state? - Plato</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">When I consider this carefully, I find not a single property which with certainty separates the waking state from the dream. How can you be certain that your whole life is not a dream? -Rene Descartes</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some time back in my not-too-distant blogging past I mentioned that our Autism puzzle includes two types of sleep issues: 1) falling asleep; and 2) staying asleep. I previously posted about our falling to sleep issue. Today, its staying asleep.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I would assume that just about any parent who is reading these words, has many a story they could tell about the early days of parenthood and trying to get a baby to sleep. (For those parents who had the kids who slept 16 uninterrupted hours: I say to you (<i>insert French word here</i>).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">For our oldest son, we have some doozies. We broke every rule and ended up with a kid who thought his rightful place was between mom and dad every night.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But, there are sleep issues -- and then there are sleep issues.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When Autism first became a reality to us, I recall reading about some children with Autism who only slept about 2 to 3 hours a day in total. Image that. It doesn't even seem physically possible. Indeed, if you find other blogs of other parents of children with Autism, you will find that Autism with sleep problems is not an uncommon tale. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">One of the earliest memories I have of the Little Man was right after he was born and we were still living among moving boxes in our current house. He woke up about 2:30 in the morning. Not uncommon for a baby and I - being the hero parent - jumped up to take the Little Man down stairs for a feeding and hopefully a quick return to sleep. The return to sleep did not come until many, many hours later. At the time, it seemed like no big deal -- just a baby being a baby. But, of course, it didn't stop there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There have been times, with no real discernible pattern, where, for as many of 4 days a week, our Little Man would wake up and 2:30 in the morning for the day. Thats right: For the ENTIRE day. We are not talking a simple re-tuck in - or an I dropped the lion. We are talking a full blown adrenaline rush of energy. Now, if you know the Little Man, you know that if he is awake, he is talking. And with 2 other kids sleeping- 2:30 a.m. playtime can be awfully disruptive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>RANK SPECULATION WARNING: </b>I have a theory which some day I might discuss in more detail, but I believe that our Little Man has a significant problem processing hormones, such as adrenaline and testosterone, which the body produces naturally as part of the growth process, and which cause him periods of intensity which he can not physically control.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">You can trust me-- if you can think of a trick for getting this kid back to sleep, we have tried it- from sweet love to tough love. to everything in between. Fortunately, the 4 days a week thing only happens from time to time. Sometimes we can go weeks without it. There is no rhyme or reason and no real way to prepare for it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I would give you the current statistics, but I don't want to jink it!</span></div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-29157740158388180802012-04-14T11:49:00.001-04:002012-04-14T11:52:07.553-04:00MICKEY MOUSE CLUBHOUSE<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today. - William White</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Okay, so I labeled this post Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, to discuss an intriguing pattern we see in our Little Man. It has happened with the children's show Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, but it has also happened with the other shows, such as Jack's Big Music Show, the Little Einsteins and it has also happened to the music of the Laurie Berkner Band. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For those of you that do not know of these newer kids show, these are all shows which have various levels of music and varying degrees of animation or puppetry. [Just for giggles, I attached below, a Jack's music show parody someone did of Jack playing System of a Down. Man, are people creative and talented or what]</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The pattern goes something like this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">1) When the Little Man is introduced to something new, such as Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, he shows no interest in it;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">2) Slowly, over time as he hears songs in the shows, he becomes intrigued, and will start to watch;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">3) He will start to love the show and ask to see it more and the show seems to make him happy and relaxed;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">4) He will start to become obsessed with the show, so that he <i>demands </i>to see it all the time and is reduced to tears if he does not see it;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">5) He starts to draw and write and act out scenes from the show, even when it is not on; </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">6) Then, out of the blue. The mention of the show, any song it, reference to it; and any image of it; makes him so upset he is reduced to tears; </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">7) The show and any reference to it become contraband in our house.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We literally have about 10 shows that we do not let on because he is at stage 6 for them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And, now, with out further adieu, ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you: Jack's Big Music Show performing System of a Down:</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JolGylyzRHM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-33430752768410228462012-04-13T10:41:00.002-04:002012-04-13T10:41:59.808-04:00LION<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">No vision and you perish; no ideal, and you're lost;</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Your heart must ever cherish; some faith at any cost.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Some hope, some dream to cling to; some rainbow in the sky;</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Some melody to sing to. Some service that is high. </span></i><br />
-Harriet Du Autermont<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
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Some children hold onto blankets; some hold onto binkies; or other things. Our Little Man holds onto lion.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1Gif2dfEi5wE0K7yZThGm1PqCaICmhUY3Vjw5HA9HB7HqtNE-XYQgBxe3wDdUWgPiR4esG_RfLLxccFwIbOGnwuHyhiHPxb6iWdBlQ9ShkB36KjRocPWbDPBT1OeOuIzbuVKjm4eBX5s/s1600/lion+pic+before.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1Gif2dfEi5wE0K7yZThGm1PqCaICmhUY3Vjw5HA9HB7HqtNE-XYQgBxe3wDdUWgPiR4esG_RfLLxccFwIbOGnwuHyhiHPxb6iWdBlQ9ShkB36KjRocPWbDPBT1OeOuIzbuVKjm4eBX5s/s320/lion+pic+before.JPG" width="221" /></a></div>
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Lion is a sweet stuffed animal that was given to us as a present almost 9 years ago, before my first son was born. It had a little button inside that when pressed said in the cutest little voice:<br />
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<i>Let's go to the zoo!</i><br />
<i>There's lots to see and do.</i><br />
<i>Lion's, tigers, elephants and bears.</i><br />
<i>Even a monkey with some banana to share.</i><br />
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Our oldest son never really took to lion. He had other interests. But, lion became the Little Man 's everything. He is such a part of almost all that we do, my wife and I actually refer to him as our fourth child.<br />
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[House Secret: Lion has been to Disney World; but our youngest has not !].<br />
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We have spent many frantic nights ripping the house apart trying to find the lost stuffed lion -- with the Little Man yelling "WHERE IS THE LION?" We actually once purchased a spare lion -- which the Little Man rejected outright.<br />
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As you can imagine, over 9 years lion has gone through quite a lot of wear and tear. A dip in the toilet here, a drop in a mud puddle there-- and he has developed such a distinct [rancid] smell that I now jokingly refer to him as "Stinky Pete." <br />
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Okay. Now I must come clean. That is not a picture of lion. That is a picture of another lion I found on the Internet. Below is a picture of what lion looks like today-- like 5 minutes ago. I had to wrestle lion out of the Little Man's hands just to take this photo.<br />
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<b><br /></b><br />
<b>WARNING: THE IMAGE YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS GRAPHIC IN NATURE AND IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.</b><br />
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<b>I WARNED YOU!</b></div>
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<br />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-73804498103698724122012-04-12T00:30:00.000-04:002012-04-12T00:30:01.943-04:00K is for KINDNESS<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of
beauty.</span> </i>– Anne Herbert<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"><i>That best
portion of a good man's life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of
kindness and love. -</i></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">William
Wordsworth</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">_________________________________________________________________________________</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Can I get squishy today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">No snide comments. No strained
attempts at humor. No long winded
stories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Just gratitude for all of the kindness we come across every day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As you might imagine, I read a lot about Autism: news stories, tweets,
blog posts, etc. There are a lot of sources of some very bad news involving
Autism. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You can sometimes get caught up reading the headlines and horror
stories and lose hope. You hear about a
child dis-invited to party because he has Autism. You hear about a child locked in a padded
room at school. You hear of a child
smacked by an adult aide on a school bus.
You hear of a child left on a school bus alone by a careless bus driver. Things
can seem pretty daunting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those problems are all very real and I admire and support the brave parents and advocates who bring those stories to the forefront. My family has greatly benefitted from the tireless effort of many who have gone before us and many who stand beside us.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But, if I were to pick one word to describe the number one thing I have experienced
from people on this Autism journey, its kindness. From
my family, from friends, from neighbors, from teachers, from aides, from
medical professionals, from private service providers, and now, most recently,
from random people around the world who have stopped by blog as a result
of this A to Z challenge, I have experienced
so much kindness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sure there is an occasional knucklehead with “cant-keep-my-eyes-to-myself-itis” staring strangely when our Autism train is derailed. But
for every one numbskull there are countless numbers of people who are genuinely
kind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This is all not to mention, the kindness our Little Man experiences
from his brothers, cousins, neighbors, and class mates. I
posted one short story before about a beautiful experience our Little Man has
had with one kind little boy in his “typical” first grade class. (<a href="http://blogofisms.blogspot.com/2012/01/small-actsbig-impacts.html">Small Acts/Big Impacts</a>). But, that was not an isolated act of kindness. My wife and I are constantly touched by stories
of kind young children in his class going out of their way to play with him, to
teach him, to help and to befriend him.
In fact, just yesterday, a mom reported to us that her daughter insisted
that our Little Man be at her birthday party – since she enjoys reading together
with him in class so much. She even
asked to talk to him on the phone to invite him personally. Heartwarming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Newspapers filled with stories of kindness would not sell. But, kindness is all around us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Kindness: Recognize it; be grateful for it; and pay it forward.</span><o:p></o:p></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-31908517862620467432012-04-11T01:00:00.000-04:002012-04-11T01:00:07.282-04:00J is for JOSHUA<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #181818;">“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the
whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the
most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #181818;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #181818;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">―<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4273.Roald_Dahl"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #666600;">Roald Dahl</span></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">_________________________________________________________________________________</span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I will give you three guesses as to why I am choosing the word <b>Joshua </b>for my J word.<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">1) No, it has nothing to do with the biblical figure<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">2) Nope. Nothing to do with the U2 or the National park in Southern
California; and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDW75cT970kXlUmuwSezthyphenhypheniCfMGzcPZufGGIoPAXxMoZaUe0OYv6GYtoO1-pzq_fSIY6x_LPp9OahLoycrK9iHhvvHBH7e9xGhSOXwuBK0diGPUJ1bOS-VvSen3kUkrIJntDK7cOYfmM/s1600/joshua.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDW75cT970kXlUmuwSezthyphenhypheniCfMGzcPZufGGIoPAXxMoZaUe0OYv6GYtoO1-pzq_fSIY6x_LPp9OahLoycrK9iHhvvHBH7e9xGhSOXwuBK0diGPUJ1bOS-VvSen3kUkrIJntDK7cOYfmM/s200/joshua.jpg" width="130" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">3) No, it has nothing to do with one of my favorite books: <i>Joshua:
A Parable for Today.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I would tell you why I chose the word, but it is
super-duper-secret, highly confidential, need to know information. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Okay, fine, I guess since you are reading this post and have
gotten this far down you must need to know. Touché. Well played. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I will give in. But before
I do that, let me say this:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>To the Little Man: If you have somehow unlocked the closet
door, have climbed the shelves to find the laptop, hacked our password, figured
out how to turn on the Wi-Fi and have navigated your way to this
website, “Congratulations, you little Houdini, you are punished!" You are also
forbidden from reading further since I am about to reveal some House Secrets.</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Do the words: “<i>Greetings, Professor Falken” </i>mean
anything to you? How about the
words: <span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #333333;">“</span></i></span><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #333333;">Let's play Global Thermonuclear War.</span>”</i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #333333;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">That’s right!
Those quotes are from Matthew Broderick’s pre-Ferris Bueller movie <i>War Games</i> (1983). Joshua is the name of the computer in that
movie.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #333333;">We use the word Joshua in our house as a code
word for our laptop computer. </span><i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You see, our Little Man has an unhealthy love of the
computer. Actually, it not the computer
itself, but the internet access it offers which causes him problems. He cannot help himself, but getting on Google
and searching for his demons: Remember
the <a href="http://blogofisms.blogspot.com/2011/12/baby-einstein.html">Baby Einstein Post</a>? He gets on
Google and will search for anything Baby Einstein related. Imagine our surprise one day when we hear him
reciting Baby Galileo in Spanish! I kid
you not: All the Spanish I know, I learned
from his Google searches: Planetas! Galaxias!
Estrellas!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">[O.K. That's not all the Spanish I know. My cousin also taught me: </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969);"><span style="font-family: inherit;">¡Mis pantalones están en fuego!</span></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">]</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So, we keep the laptop hidden.
It’s only to be used when the Little Man is asleep or at school. All other times, we dare not refer to it by
its real name – only as Joshua. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Added
bonus code word: We also call the
iPad :
</span><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Girl from Ipanema! </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-59529545737723110172012-04-10T00:30:00.000-04:002012-04-10T00:30:01.358-04:00I is for....um...IDEOPRAXIST<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">"If your determination is fixed, I do not counsel you to
despair. Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are
performed not by strength, but perseverance."</span></i><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> </span> -</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Samuel Johnson</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">"What this power is I cannot say; all I know
is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of
mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to
quit until he finds it."</span></i><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> </span></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">-Alexander Graham Bell</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">_________________________________________________________________________________</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Okay,
I have to admit, I was struggling a little bit with the letter I. So, I resorted to the dictionary. The way I see it, if you are going to take
some time to pull out the dictionary for this challenge, you do not waste your
time with some nickel or dime word. You go for the full fifty-cent
word. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So
I am dedicating this post to the song <b>"I'll Whip Ya Head
Boy" </b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> by American
rapper, entrepreneur, investor, record producer, and actor - Curtis James
Jackson the Third (a/k/a Fifty Cent). </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">No, not that Fifty Cent, silly.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My Fifty Cent word <i>de jour</i> is <b>ideopraxist</b>. A word that is so
Fifty Cent that Microsoft Word doesn’t even recognize it as a real word. But, it is.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Ideopraxist:
</b><i><abbr style="background-color: white; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #666666; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="noun">n.<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"></span></abbr> One who is impelled to act by the force
of an idea; one who devotes his energies to the carrying out of an idea.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you read
my earlier post on the <a href="http://blogofisms.blogspot.com/2012/01/et-tu-woody.html">The Future Demise of Sheriff Woody</a>, the definition of ideopraxist might
sound familiar to you. Ah, yes. Our Little Man is certainly an ideopraxist. He gets an idea in his
head, and he is determined to fulfill it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Recently,
it was the mall. Thanks to the <i>Model Me Going Places</i> app on the iPad,
the Little Man got the idea in his head of going to the mall. About two weeks ago, I came home for work and
the requests started: “I want to go bye-byes
in the car to the mall.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The
Little Man has a significant communication impairment, so a meaningful back and
forth communication is almost impossible.
“What do you want to do at the mall,”
we asked. No response. We gave him a prompting phrase, “At the mall,
I want to get _________.” No response. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s hard to get there on a week day school
night, but he persists patiently placing his request the next night, the night after,
and the night after that. So cute. So sweet.
Finally it’s the weekend and it’s time for some daddy and me time at the
mall. I had no idea what he wanted at
the mall. Another set of planets? Another
set of stackable rings? Nope. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We rode up and down the escalators a couple
times. Then we rode up and down the elevators.
Then, we we<span style="font-family: inherit;">nt in and out of a couple of stores. Then, he was ready to go home. No purchases, no demands, no requests. Turns out, he just wanted to experience what
he saw the little boy doing on the app. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">He left with a huge smile
on his face. Box checked. </span>The ideopraxist fulfilled his idea!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6125916132691286911.post-84599183391747886842012-04-09T00:30:00.000-04:002012-04-09T00:30:01.022-04:00WELCOME TO HOLLAND<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHofPAEH6S0oC-G90R1MHWfyn_PqosWuwcXDq-5mCpKCpE7paCkfL_ZMIyMnOtiSekw21qeptu2Dv82X1zwjTsTtte9ExtdyCO7yzj9CeHtrkbt1CQdLODi2dlXMJ5-phJYvQkqU4Mrjc/s1600/mill_holland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHofPAEH6S0oC-G90R1MHWfyn_PqosWuwcXDq-5mCpKCpE7paCkfL_ZMIyMnOtiSekw21qeptu2Dv82X1zwjTsTtte9ExtdyCO7yzj9CeHtrkbt1CQdLODi2dlXMJ5-phJYvQkqU4Mrjc/s320/mill_holland.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">A teacher has two jobs; fill young minds with knowledge, yes, but more important, give those minds a compass so that that knowledge doesn't go to waste. - Principal Jacobs, <u>Mr. Holland's Opus</u></span></i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
_________________________________________________________________________________<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The following is an Essay written in 1987 by Emily Pearl Kingsley about having a child with a disability. To it, I shall not add or detract:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, Gondolas. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland!” “Holland?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place. So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around. You begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. And Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” And the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever, go away. The loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.</i></span></span></h3>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788914560977098214noreply@blogger.com4